A Pain In The
For some reason, when I woke up this morning, the entire right side of my ass was uncomfortably sore. While I can attribute it to having endured somewhat cramped sleeping quarters last night (thank you Shady for taking up more of the bed than I'd think possible for a small dog), I am still bemused at how it's only the right side that's suffering. No full ass, no left-and-right. My pain is only half-assed.
As a result, I feel asymmetrical somehow. My ass has become lopsided. Whenever I clench my buttocks (ah, revel in the visuals! Or reel, whatever works for you.), the one side feels as if it's been tenderized the way a punching bag must feel after a boxer's had a go at it for ten minutes. It will probably take a day or two for the right side of my ass to heal.
In the meantime, though, I say to the masses born of the Age of Enlightenment and Reason: why can't science have it's useless avenues like everything else? I want to know about the effects of country music on suicide, and whether the 5-second rule is truly sanitary, and that herrings apparently communicate by farting!
And you can too, now:
http://www.improb.com/ig/ig-top.html
Today's Lesson: pigeons will be instinctively attracted to any statue--except for a bronze statue located in Kanazawa, Japan.
posted by Phillip at 8:23 AM
